I don't even know what topic to pick first: global pandemic, social and racial injustices, police brutality, continued isolation... One of those alone is enough to cause heartbreak. This blog is meant to be an outlet, so I am going to attempt to put my emotions into words.
COVID-19 Pandemic
A pandemic is not something that I'd spent much time thinking about before. It was something for the ages, not the 21st century. I had a lot of faith in the science world and thought it would be controlled, but it spread and got closer.
I cried a lot in March. Partially from the sense of impending doom and unknown future, but mostly for the loss I already felt. The loss of not being able to see my family and friends like normal. The overwhelming worry for my parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles. Nothing had happened to them, but I weeped for how much I already missed them. It sounds irrational, and I know many friends would say I was being over-the-top, but I was consumed with reading the news and seeing how Italy's healthcare was overwhelmed with cases and losing thousands of people a day. I worried that was what we were heading into.
With a Stay-At-Home order and social distancing, Georgia seemed to flatten the curve enough to avoid a healthcare disaster. I am so relieved by this, but I continue to stay cautious and worry about a second wave even though Georgia's numbers have yet to truly fall from the first peak. They have remained at a constant rate of hundreds of newly confirmed infections every day. The dips in the graph are usually due to the low number of testing on the weekends.
Data through June 15th
Social Distancing
I've always been a social person. I have pleasantly surprised myself at coping with social distancing and isolation. I am flexible and adaptable, and I know that things (good or bad) don't last forever. I use that mantra to ground myself when I am slipping into a sad place. This will not last forever. I speak with my family and friends quite often through text, phone calls, social media, or video chats, but of course it cannot replace physically being with others. I have had lunches with my grandmother on her patio and visited my parents on their front porch, keeping a mask or distance between us. I have gone on a walk with a friend, and feel cautious even doing that.
The government has relaxed the isolation orders. All businesses are allowed to reopen. Of course there are guidelines to keep places sanitary, but it isn't just that to worry about, is it? The virus spreads through respiratory droplets, so being around others is a risk.
Friends are making plans. I receive invitations to lunches or small get-togethers, but I panic. I have no way of knowing if the people around me in public have been isolating or wearing a mask. I also see myself as a risk to others. Derek has been required to be at work since the beginning of this. He is exposed to hundreds or thousands of people a day. If he were to get anything from them, I would inevitably get it as an asymptomatic carrier of this virus. I am terrified of unknowingly infecting the people I love, so I continue to isolate more often than not.
Isolation brings me some peace of mind because I know I am doing what I can to keep them safe, but there are times where it really hurts me. I miss my family. I want to hug all my family members. I miss my friends, and I am heartbroken thinking about how this summer would otherwise be filled with lunch dates and drinks by the pool. I worry that distance will hurt those genuine friendships that rely on scheduled events, like tennis practices and matches, or that I already see too few and far between.
I hate that there isn't a right answer for this. I know I cannot live like this forever, nor do I ever plan to, but Covid-19 has not gone away. I am trying to do what I can to protect my loved ones and prevent the pandemic from worsening before there is a way to treat it.
Injustices/Police Brutality
Covid-19 had become a debatable topic, but not nearly as much as this. The deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd have sparked a huge movement in regards to social justice, racism, and police brutality. I struggle to figure out where to start addressing these issues, so I will address them by bullet points.
- Protests and Riots - The reports and videos of these tragic deaths have sparked a groundbreaking number or protests in this country and around the world. A small fraction of the protests resulted in rioting and looting causing property damage. The right to assembly and to protest is protected by the First Amendment of the Constitution. Rioting and looting is not protected. It is the destruction, damage, and theft of property. That is a crime. It should not be condoned. That said, I can empathize with the anger they feel. I saw a post circulating on Facebook that compared these protests to a child. The teacher, Tessa, explains how when a child acts out and destroys a classroom it is because of an underlying trauma. The child is hurting and stressed. Something is making them feel unsafe. The cause of the hurt needs to be addressed in order to help them.
- Racism - It exists. Not everyone is racist, but stereotypes exist and have infiltrated their way into too many people's perceptions of individuals.
- Police Brutality - There have been videos of police officers using excessive or unnecessary force on citizens and protestors. A lawyer in North Carolina has complied examples and evidence on a Google Drive. These actions do not represent all police officers, just like looters do not represent all protesters. It is not right to fight against the blanket statements and stereotypes of certain groups but not others.
The United States proudly boasts being "the best country in the world". I find it hard to believe that the best country in the world can have substantial reports on unnecessary police aggression.
According to this complied list (with sources), the United States ranks twenty-second in a country with the most deaths by police when compared to other countries. The numbers are deaths per 10 million people.
- Democratic Republic of the Congo: 47.8
- United States of America: 46.6
- Iraq: 45.1
- Colombia: 34.1
- Mexico: 30
- Canada: 9.7
- Germany: 1.3
- United Kingdom: 0.5
Here are some more statistics showing the excess death the United States is experiencing compared to others nations.
This brings me to the topic of #DefundThePolice. I feel like many people hear this and imagine the anarchy of society without any police force. That is not what it means. Crime occurs more in neighborhoods that are low-income and have limited resources and education. Defund the police is a concept that wants to take more preventative measures on crime. If the rate of crime can decrease by investing in schools, social services, and the people of struggling communities, the hope is that police and focus on keeping the community safe.
The people in my life who invested in me, believed in, and supported me have made a much longer lasting and positive impact on my life. Those who waited to catch me doing something wrong and punish me for perceived wrongdoings made me feel alone and resentful. Why not love all of our humanities and communities the way we want to be loved?
To read more about #DefundThePolice, here are a few articles I have found interesting or helpful: Fox News, CNN, Yahoo News.
